Yesterday was an interesting day...it was the one year anniversary of my incident in Afghanistan and it was also Purple Heart Day...funny that the two collide. One year ago everything was "normal" in my life, ok as normal as it could be. I was in Afghanistan doing my job and missing my family. I was getting back into church and my faith. I was working out again.
On the morning of the 7th all of that changed. In a matter of seconds my life was turned upside down...literally and figuratively. I was thrown into a new future with no road map. I was terrified to do the things I'd done all my life. In a matter of seconds I learned that the world is not a nice place and people want to hurt you even though they know nothing about you.
The path I was thrown onto was unknown to me, I was not used to being the one that needed help, I was the one who provided help. I was not used to being afraid to be alone, to walk down a sidewalk, to fear going into public places. I wanted to me alone in my safe places. I was on a path that would lead me to solitude and an unrealistic view of safety.
On the morning of the 7th all of that changed. In a matter of seconds my life was turned upside down...literally and figuratively. I was thrown into a new future with no road map. I was terrified to do the things I'd done all my life. In a matter of seconds I learned that the world is not a nice place and people want to hurt you even though they know nothing about you.
The path I was thrown onto was unknown to me, I was not used to being the one that needed help, I was the one who provided help. I was not used to being afraid to be alone, to walk down a sidewalk, to fear going into public places. I wanted to me alone in my safe places. I was on a path that would lead me to solitude and an unrealistic view of safety.
I was unprepared for what life had in store for me. I realized after a few months that I needed help more than I needed to pretend that things were ok. I'm on the road to recovery now, hopeful for the future and what it holds. I still have days that I want to stay in my home, in my bed, with my dog, alone. They are fewer and father apart now though.
The people who did the horrific act of that day did not know me, they know only what they are told about Americans. They have never met me, it was not a personal attack. I do not hold them at fault. It is the only thing they know. I forgive them and the people who put them in that position.
I am God's child and if He can forgive me my sins, I can forgive those who hurt me. I am stronger today and each day moving forward.
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