Depression Sucks...

Depression sucks the joy out of life.
It sucks the hours out of the day.
It sucks the happiness out of special occasions.
It sucks the energy you were hoping to have out of you.

Depression is lonely.
It leaves you wishing you were someone else.
It leaves you hoping for better days
It leaves you wanting.

Depression is tiring.
It leaves you exhausted just because you got up.
It leaves you napping all day long.
It leaves you thinking about the next time you can sleep.

Depression is overwhelming.
It turns mole hills into mountains.
It turns innocent comments into arguments.
It turns minutes into what seems like hours.

Depression is painful.
It leaves you feeling fatigued when you've done nothing.
It leaves you wishing you wanted to do things with others.
It leaves your body sore and achy.

Depression simply sucks!

Being a Stay at home Mom...

Since before my children were born I have worked outside the home.  I've watched other Mother's stay home, and wished that I could at least try it.  I've wanted to spend the days watching my children meet milestones, grow, mature, simply be.  I've wanted to be there everyday for whatever they need.

I finally get my chance.  After fourteen years and four months in the military I get to be a stay-at-home Mom.  I get to drive them to school and pick them up.  I get to cook for them everyday.  I get to be there for all the things I've missed over the years.  I finally get to spend all my time with them.

The past couple of weeks have been a learning experience to say the least.  I've felt busier staying home than I ever was working.  I've had to run kids here and there, homes school oldest son, take care of all the household chores, cook all the meals...I've gotten a little bit of a taste of what my new life will be like.  I love it!

I spend my time enjoying the days, chores, conversations I feel that I've missed over the years.  My children and husband are able to benefit from my ability to now keep the house cleaner, meals cooked more frequently and the baking I've grown to love.

I've been able to do projects I never had time to before.  I've been able to make and follow monthly meal plans.  I've been able to watch my children thrive even is this short period by simply having their Mom home.

I'm not going to pretend like it's all been perfect.  I've exhausted at the end of the day, I've been frustrated by the lack of adult conversation during the day, and I've been overwhelmed with all I have to do.  But I love it!

It is every thing I hoped it would be and so much more!  I may never go back to work again :)...don't tell my husband!

The Lord has blessed me with this chance and I intend to take full advantage of it for as long as I can.