Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I raised a bully...

Last year I spend a lot of time at my oldest son's middle school due to his being bullied.  He's smaller than other kids his age, he has diabetes, he's different, which makes him an easy target to some.  I had meetings with the Principal, the counselor, the school nurse.  I was the Mama Bear protecting her cub.

I removed my son from that particular school and made a decision to home school him for his seventh grade year.  We...well I...researched the best programs, found one that fit and we moved forward.  I would give him a year to focus on maturing and learning to deal with his differences then we would reintroduce him to the social situations in public school.  It lasted from September to December.  We did not make the best team for home schooling, I had to get a job and we were truly ready to kill one another.

We made the decision to return him to a different public school.  All was going well until recently.  A little over a week ago I got a phone call every parent dreads...my son was bullying another child.  I saw red.  I was livid.  I was hurt!

My son...the one who was hurt last year by other kids bullying him, had bullied someone else.  He had knowingly said things to another child to hurt them.   He had followed the crowd and fell prey to the pack mentality.  He'd learned nothing from his own experience.  I was upset to say the least and I let him know it.  I grounded him for a month, I took away everything he loves...that would be electronics folks...I had him write a 500 word essay about bullying and why you shouldn't do it.  I was hurt.

I had him call the other child and tell him he was sorry, ask if he was ok, talk to him.  I left a message to speak with the other child's mother myself, so I could apologize for being the mother of a bully.  I was truly devastated by what had happened.

I despise bullying.  In my opinion it's a way to make others feel bad about themselves while attempting to make yourself feel better.  It's a cowards way of treating other people.  I have never been one to put other people down, to make them feel inferior.  I have always felt that you should treat others as you would want to be treated.  I will always feel this way.

A week ago I was a mother of a bully.  For two short weeks I was unknowingly the mother of a bully.  I unknowingly raised a bully.  For a brief period in my son's life he hurt someone else with his words and actions.  I hope that he learns from this experience.  I hope that he has seen that if something hurts you, it will hurt other people the same way.  I hope that he recognizes that fitting in is not nearly as important as being yourself.

I love my child, but for one brief period a week ago I did not like who he was.  I love my child and hope that he has learned from this!

No comments:

Post a Comment