Radical Obedience...

What does radical obedience mean to you when you hear it?  To a Christian it should mean one thing...it should mean that you are ready to completely and utterly give your life over to God and follow the path that he leads for you.  I am currently reading the book Radical by David Platt and I am astonished by the things he has written.

I realized that I was not allowing myself to listen to the plan God has for me.  I am not following the directives of the Bible as I should...I am not obeying God's word.

I realize that many of my readers may not share my beliefs, I hope that they can still respect my values and beliefs.  I can understand if they don't though.  It is a tough pill for people who do not believe to swallow.  It is a tough pill sometimes for those of us who do believe to follow.

God loves us, He created us in His image, He created us for His enjoyment.  He expects us to follow His word...He demands it.  The cost of not following His word is worse than anything you can experience in this life.  It is eternal damnation.  It is eternal separation from our Loving Creator.

He never said that this life would be easy, He never said that we would be able to easily follow His word.  He did provide us with the blueprint for this though.  He gave us the Bible to study, to read, to learn.  He gave us His written word, written by mortal men.  Men, who like you and I, found it difficult to radically obey His word until they were shown the path He laid out for them.

I can only imagine the shock and awe they experienced when the Lord reached down and physically touched them?  The Love they felt engulf them when they finally reached the point where they were ready to listen and believe.

Can you also imagine the fear they felt when at first they did not follow God's word.  They chose to stray from the path He laid for them?  The fear Jonah felt when the was in the fished belly, the fear he lived with for the days he was there?

Had Jonah simply listened and obeyed He would not have had to have that experience.  If we would listen and obey there are some many things we could avoid experiencing.  Not saying that you will never experience difficulties or obstacles in this life...you will.  Even the most ardent, most obedient of God's people will experience pain and suffering.  However, when the Lord returns those same people will be the first to experience His amazing love and healing.

You may not be in a place in your life where you are ready to follow the Lord, you may never be in that place, I pray that you change your mind though. I pray that I am able to find the radical obedience the Lord expects...that he demands!

"Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.  Although the whole earth is mine." ~Exodus 19:5

Our Government...

As each day passes and our elected officials are no closer to coming to a resolution among themselves I am becoming more and more despondent.  Our nation was forged on the ideals of the American dream.  A dream that is now in tatters for so many.

Each day we watch as the individuals we elected become less and less interested in helping the American people and more and more interested in their own agenda.  We watch as they argue among themselves with no real thought of how their actions are affecting those people who put voted them into their positions.

It's like watching my children fight over the remote for the T.V.  At some point they forget what it was they even wanted to watch and the fight is merely about who is in control of the remote.  Our government is so wrapped up in who is right and wrong, that they are missing the real point entirely.  They are making themselves and the American people as a whole look like bumbling idiots.

I watch as they bicker over who's idea it was to implement certain procedures, who's idea it was to implement Obamacare, who's idea it was to vote certain ways...how about they come together and make some decisions that will put us all back on the right track.  How about they stop worrying about which party is right and start focusing on how to fix this astronomical mess they have placed us in.

As a military member who is getting ready to retire I am fearful of what the future holds for me and my family.  Will I receive the benefits I was promised as a medical retiree?  Will my husband and I be able to financially take care of our children without losing our house, our vehicles, our sanity?  Will we be able to support them on the income we were promised?

Will our medical coverage take care of our special needs children?  Will we even continue to receive medical coverage at a rate we can afford?  Are our elected officials ever going to start hearing what we the people are actually saying or are they going to continue to listen only to themselves?

I am proud to be an American.  I am proud to be from a country. I am not proud of our current government and how these issues are being handled.  We as a people need to stand up and make our voices heard.  We need to ensure that we people we helped make it to government office understand that we are the only reason they are there and we can choose not to allow them to make poor choices for us.

Fear and it's effects...

As an individual living with anxiety and PTSD, I know all to well the effects of fear on your life.  I am coming to a crossroads not only for myself, but for my family as well and it is terrifying.

I am going to retire from the military in less than two months and I have no prospects for a future job.  My family will suffer because of my retirement and that scares me.  It terrifies me.  It makes me second guess  myself.

Would it be possible to pull of a full recovery and return to a job that kept my family going?  It is possible to downsize enough to manage our lives without two full-time pay checks? Is it time to give up on school, send my son back to public school, and get a full-time 9-5 job?

All of these things are running through my head and I have no way to see if any of them are viable options.  Let me rephrase that, of course I have ways to see if they are viable, but am I, are we willing to do the things we need to see where they go?

I love being home during the day, I love seeing my children as soon as they get home from school and help with their homework.  I love being a stay-at-home Mom in a way that I never thought I would.  Is it viable though?  Can I work from home and still be a full-time stay at home Mom?  Can I make this work?

Lord please let me make the best decision for my family!  Please put your arms around me and guide me to the decision we need to make as a family!  Be with us Lord, lead, guide and direct us.  In your name I pray...amen!

Depression Sucks...

Depression sucks the joy out of life.
It sucks the hours out of the day.
It sucks the happiness out of special occasions.
It sucks the energy you were hoping to have out of you.

Depression is lonely.
It leaves you wishing you were someone else.
It leaves you hoping for better days
It leaves you wanting.

Depression is tiring.
It leaves you exhausted just because you got up.
It leaves you napping all day long.
It leaves you thinking about the next time you can sleep.

Depression is overwhelming.
It turns mole hills into mountains.
It turns innocent comments into arguments.
It turns minutes into what seems like hours.

Depression is painful.
It leaves you feeling fatigued when you've done nothing.
It leaves you wishing you wanted to do things with others.
It leaves your body sore and achy.

Depression simply sucks!

Being a Stay at home Mom...

Since before my children were born I have worked outside the home.  I've watched other Mother's stay home, and wished that I could at least try it.  I've wanted to spend the days watching my children meet milestones, grow, mature, simply be.  I've wanted to be there everyday for whatever they need.

I finally get my chance.  After fourteen years and four months in the military I get to be a stay-at-home Mom.  I get to drive them to school and pick them up.  I get to cook for them everyday.  I get to be there for all the things I've missed over the years.  I finally get to spend all my time with them.

The past couple of weeks have been a learning experience to say the least.  I've felt busier staying home than I ever was working.  I've had to run kids here and there, homes school oldest son, take care of all the household chores, cook all the meals...I've gotten a little bit of a taste of what my new life will be like.  I love it!

I spend my time enjoying the days, chores, conversations I feel that I've missed over the years.  My children and husband are able to benefit from my ability to now keep the house cleaner, meals cooked more frequently and the baking I've grown to love.

I've been able to do projects I never had time to before.  I've been able to make and follow monthly meal plans.  I've been able to watch my children thrive even is this short period by simply having their Mom home.

I'm not going to pretend like it's all been perfect.  I've exhausted at the end of the day, I've been frustrated by the lack of adult conversation during the day, and I've been overwhelmed with all I have to do.  But I love it!

It is every thing I hoped it would be and so much more!  I may never go back to work again :)...don't tell my husband!

The Lord has blessed me with this chance and I intend to take full advantage of it for as long as I can.

What has society come to...

As I read through the news today, I came across an article detailing how three "bored" teenagers decided that for fun they would go out and kill someone.  They wanted to see what it was like.  They took another human life because they were bored.

Are you kidding me...are we seriously at a point in our society that children, yes teenagers are still children, have started killing for fun? Are we as parents really that uninvolved that we are raising "bored" murders?

As a mother I am pissed off at the parents in this situation...I am in no way saying that they could have stopped these three idiots from doing what they did, but where were they?  What have they been teaching their children?  What type of environment are they raising them in?  I am appalled that this happened and even more appalled that children did it.

Here is the article in question:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/20/police-say-teen-shot-australian-student-in-oklahoma-for-fun-it/

These boys seem to already have histories with the law, they were not innocent children by any means.  At the same time, at one point they were innocent.  At one point they were someone's baby, someones's little boy.  I can't imagine my children growing up to kill someone "for fun".  I can't imagine them growing up to kill someone for any other reason than self protection.

I am saddened by this event, I am saddened that our society has fallen into such a place that things like this aren't so uncommon, I am saddened that a young man's life was cut short and three others will live the remainder of their lives trying to understand why they did what they did.

God does not intend for us to kill one another, He does not intend for us to raise children who kill "for fun".  As parents it is our responsibility to raise strong, Godly children, who live moral lives.  Some of you may disagree, some of you may not believe in God.  I do however, and as for me and my family we will serve the Lord.

As I lay down tonight to go to bed I will pray for the young man who's life was cut short.  I will pray for his parents, his girlfriend, his friends in America and Australia.  I will pray that they find peace and forgiveness in their hearts.  I will also pray for the three boys whose lives are so unbelievably altered now that they will never know a normal life again.  Whether they go to jail for their lives or not, they will always be known as the three boys who killed an innocent man for no reason.

I will pray for their parents and their friends.  I will pray for their souls that they find Christ and get right with God.  I will pray that one day they can forgive themselves.

It's baaaaack...

The long awaited medical board is back.  It's time for me to start making plans for the future and figuring out how to be a civilian again.  It's time to begin a new chapter in my story.

I was told last week that I have approximately 60 days before I am officially a civilian again.  I haven't been a civilian in 14 years.  I haven't attempted to work in the "real" world in that length of time. I'm not sure I even remember how.  I have lived and breathed the military for 14 years.  I have given them my blood, sweat and tears.  Now it's time for me to figure out how to do the same for myself and my family.

My husband and I have lots of planning to do.  I start school this Wednesday.  That's right I'm going back to school.  I finally made a grown up decision about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I'm going to school to become a nurse.  It'll be a long hard road, but in the end it will be worth it.  Right now I'm going to attend at night, we'll see how it goes.  I'm hopeful that I can do it.

I'm also going to begin homeschooling our oldest son.  I strongly believe that it's something I'm being led to do, that's it's something God has placed on  my heart and will hopefully repair some of the damage in my son.  I just want him to be a happy little boy again.

My anxiety about this new stage in life is overwhelming, but I'm going to breath and push through.  I'm not going to give in and allow  myself to quit.  I'm going to be successful at this.  It may feel impossible at times, but it's going to happen.  I can do this.  I can be happy and successful.  I can push the anxiety and fear aside and make something of my life.

With God's help I can do anything!